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My Divorce is Legal and I feel like I turned 21 again!!!

Reflecting...and Christmas Shopping!
On Friday I called into Probate Court to testify.  After a small technical challenge dialing in from Germany, I was through to the judge.  After answering three questions, I was told my divorce was granted and that I would receive a copy of the decree in the mail.

I spent this weekend reflecting on what it means for the divorce to finally be over.  After thinking about it for a while, I realized it was like turning 21.  I was super excited about turning 21, but quickly realized nothing had changed.

My AF Girlfriends - You two are awesome!
In America turning 21 is a right of passage.  The age when you can legally drink in the United States of America.  I know, crazy to imagine for all of my friends from more enlightened countries.  When you finally turn 21 though, you realize that for most of us it isn't a big deal.  Most young woman have no problem getting men who are 21 or older to buy them a drink regardless of legalities.  In addition, I lived next to Canada, from the ages of 19-21 every young woman on the border to Canada just gets a Canadian boyfriend, it is a wonderful cultural exchange program!  Plus, there are plenty of college parties, where, let's face it....nobody cares.  Needless to say, I realized the day after I turned 21, that it was kind-of anticlimactic.

My Great Family
The Girls Actually Cheered!!!
This weekend, I discovered that the legal ending to my divorce was pretty much the same thing.  For those of you who know me, you might be saying, "hmmm, I never knew Amy was married."  That is probably emblematic of why I got divorced.  After 13 years of marriage and over 15 years together, there really wasn't much to show for it.  I kept my name, so nothing to change there.  We always kept separate finances, so nothing to change there.  We hadn't lived together in over two years, so after an initial exchange of three boxes each...wow, that does sound like a college break up...there was nothing to change there.

But, wait you say, you are single now.  I can start going on great vacations with all my girlfriends. Well, also probably why I am divorced, during my marriage I went on more trips with my girlfriends then my husband.  The one time that I did try to go on a vacation with my ex, with a couple I knew, it was an epic failure.  The couple, who are married now, both congratulated me on my divorce.  When I told my tribe of urban girls I was getting divorced, they actually cheered, really.  So, far not a single person has questioned my decision, which has really helped the process.

I don't want anyone to think that I am taking either marriage or divorce lightly, it is just the anticlimactic legal act.  I am grateful that I had almost 2 1/2 years of separation from the ex,  two great counselors, a multitude of amazing friends, and a wonderful family who helped me through the difficult times.  This would have been a very different post two years ago.  Now, I am just glad that the last hurdle has been crossed.

Copenhagen with the Ladies!
I'm not sure what tomorrow will bring, but everyday of life is precious and a gift.  I am looking forward to more great trips with my girlfriends and am open to new opportunities.  I start a PhD in January and hopefully my book will be out next year!!!






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